Parent Teacher Conference
Coming off of yesterday, I didn’t have high hopes for today, but I managed to get everyone dressed and ready to go by 8.45.
We didn’t have to go anywhere until 11.30 so we took it easy and I got some stuff done around here while E napped and L watched SS.
I even had the diaper bag ready to go.
E woke up around 11, when L was having a snack and she wanted to eat as well. (She digs avocado and pear, and she’s also down with the stars - I just have to feed them to her.)
I checked the clock and it was about 11.15 so I went ahead and nursed her and then put a few things in the car. E was in her car seat and L was headed out to his, but I was thinking about a few other things I should throw in the diaper bag since I still had five minutes. I glanced at the clock to make sure we still had time and it said 11.34.
WTH? How did that happen? We were supposed to be at the PTConference at 11.40.
It’s a 10 minute drive on a good day, so I threw everyone in the car and tried to open the garage door. But the remote wasn’t there. I ran back in to see if it was in the house since L has been the one opening and closing the garage, but I couldn’t find it. I finally did the run-and-jump-the-sensor trick in my heels. I’m sure the neighbors loved it.
We got to the conference at 11.50. I felt awful, but they were very kind. Everyone there is so nice.
I got E settled, sent L out in the pod to play, and sat down prepared to hear wonderful things about my sweet, little egghead.
I could tell the teachers were a little uncomfortable and there was a woman there whom I’d never met. I deduced that she was the developmental specialist who had requested to further monitor L a month ago.
I’d never heard anything back from anyone since the one mention of it so I just assumed that they’d determined he was “just two” and perhaps she had some insight into how I could encourage him.
I was wrong.
But before I tell you what they said, you should know that I didn’t take offense to any of it. It just wasn’t what I expected a conference to be like.
Additionally, You should know that I ADORE them. They are great teachers and I appreciate that they considered the fact L has only been there six weeks - normally 12 classes, but with Spring Break and a day off each for illness and an enrichment activity we couldn’t attend, he’s only been to seven.
They also made it clear that they’ve never seen him in a comfortable environment and that what may seem to be issues to them may just be his personality or the way he’s responding to a new setting where he doesn’t know anyone.
They provided some observations, instead of doing the traditional assessment, which is based on the child’s goals for preschool: (verbatim)
- I will learn how to think not what to think.
- I will be responsible to and for myself.
- I will use my words to express myself through dialogue.
- I will make appropriate choices.
- I will learn a new system at my school.
- I will respect myself and others.
- I will build my self-esteem and confidence.
(I include it only because I think it’s a great set of goals, even if it does lack the nuances of grammar.)
So. Liam’s assessment included speech, social functioning, school skills, and other. Here are the observations: (verbatim, of course)
Speech
- Liam frequently exhibits echolalia (a repeating back) in his speech.
- His speech is more functional than social.
Social Functioning
- Liam rarely interacts with peers.
- His play tends to be solitary and parallel.
- Liam needs numerous verbal cues and prompts.
School Skills
- Liam needs encouragement to stay on task.
- He tends to wander around the room rather than remain focused.
Other
- Liam is a happy and good-natured little boy.
- He wants to contribute to our activities when he is engaged in the moment.
- What a fabulous addition to our class!!!!
Hmmm…can you determine who the writer/s is for each section - the developmental specialist or the two teachers?
We talked about everything and as I was going through the list, I could attribute each of the issues they mentioned with either me, Aaron, Macey, or the way we do things at home. (He’s nothing like Murph.)
Here’s my take:
Speech
- Liam frequently exhibits echolalia (a repeating back) in his speech. This has gotten much better since he started going to school and realized that not everyone talks in question form like we do. (Macey struggles with this as well.)
- His speech is more functional than social. Sooo his father. The kid has never been a talker. He uses social speech when he wants to - with Gabe and Julianne. Otherwise he’s a casual observer.
Social Functioning
- Liam rarely interacts with peers. Aaron and I don’t like people.
- His play tends to be solitary and parallel. Aaron and I don’t like people. I can happily spend hours by myself. When I was a kid, I’d hide out in my room all afternoon and read. I loved it. I was never bored, but it got to be an expensive habit since I went through books so fast. I’m not really sure why we didn’t go to the library…but that’s probably another post.
- Liam needs numerous verbal cues and prompts. Aaron and I don’t like people. Oh wait, that doesn’t apply here. I should say, Aaron and I don’t like to be told what to do. And L really is the type of kid who will. not. do it unless he wants to. There has to be something in it for him. Again, sooo his father. (And actually a little bit Murphy, too!)
School Skills
- Liam needs encouragement to stay on task. Have you read my blog? I can’t complete a single task to save my life. Like me, he can absolutely stay on task when it’s something he wants to do. For example, when he plays with his cars; or “cooks” for his cars; or pushes his cars around in the stroller.
- He tends to wander around the room rather than remain focused. OMG, could he be a SAHM with two children? Actually, when I’m in a situation where I’m uncomfortable or it’s loud, I simply can’t listen to everyone and everything or I get a wee bit freaked out. I just tune everyone out to stay sane. Maybe he’s the same way?
Other
- Liam is a happy and good-natured little boy. Both attributed to me. AJ is not good-natured. (Neither is Murph.)
- He wants to contribute to our activities when he is engaged in the moment. See? It’s all about doing what he wants to do, the way he wants to do it, when he wants to do it.
- What a fabulous addition to our class!!!! Well, of course.
After we discussed all of these things, the developmental specialist asked what I was planning to do with him in the fall.
I’m guessing there was some information passing between the director, teachers, and the DS, because no one seemed surprised when I said Montessori, but I could tell that the DS was 99% sure that I was signing L’s asylum admittance papers by enrolling him there.
Then she asked if there is anything specific that I’d like them to work on with him. I told her that their list was fine. And when she prodded as to whether or not I was concerned about any of the statements, I just said, “no.”
We agreed to see how he’s progressed toward the end of the year and assess the situation then.
As I was walking to the car 45 minutes after the meeting started, I was trying to decide if these observations upset me. At first I didn’t think they did. But a second later, I realized that it was a little disconcerting, because I didn’t see these things being a monstrous problem.
I called Super Teacher Heather and she was able to assuage me with her teacherly wisdom, “Heidi, he’s fine. It takes fourth graders six to nine weeks to adjust. Give him some time.”
Ok. Thanks Teacher Royale Heath. That’s what I thought.
And later I got to thinking about it, and the majority of the issues are social. Isn’t that why you send a kid to school? To learn social interaction?
Ok, I don’t feel a bit bad about any of these issues. I actually think he’s doing really well considering he’s never been in daycare or MDO and this is his first social activity where he doesn’t know a soul.
He’s really a trooper. I’m very proud of him. I’d be scared shitless.
Oh wait. I am scared shitless.
Part of the conversation included DS suggesting that I set up some playdates, and the teachers suggesting I come to pick-up early so I could chat with everyone.
I don’t know any of the moms and the though nauseated me.
Oh YES, I’m absolutely positive they all want to be my friend…as I wait for dismissal propped against the wall, blackberry in hand, catching up on as many of my favorite blogs as I can in the 10 minutes I’m waiting.
And they think L has social issues.
