Yeah, I know…same picture. But I really can’t go on with the fighting stories if I post my sophomore year pic. I mean, it was all over by then. (I think, anyway. I’m sure my sister can correct me in the comments. At any rate you need the mental image of my FRESHMAN year.
Starting weight: 135
Goal: 125 130 by 02/22
Yesterday: 132.0
Today: 131.4
Remaining Poundage: 1.
I’m digging the realistic goal. I might actually make it!
Anyhoo, back to the real reason you’re here. I’ll break it down for you by person.*
Becky the Crazy Bitch
This started in Driver’s Ed the summer before my Freshman year. Naturally, someone said I said something that I didn’t say about another girl and all hell broke loose. Unfortunately, the girl I allegedly slandered was already in trouble and was going to get “sent up” if she got into any more. So, she did what any one of us would do…she sent her crazy, stupid friend after me - and I do mean crazy. (I’m actually not sure about “stupid” but I do know she never graduated from high school.)
Well, this one didn’t really go in my favor. Once school started, I couldn’t avoid her…she had spies. And honestly, she was one of the meanest people I’ve ever known. So, I did end up with a sore spot within the first few weeks of school after she checked the strength of my locker by using my head.
My favorite, though, was when she lifted me up and slammed me against the window by the library. I remember thinking, “Thank god she didn’t break the window,” and imagining our in-the-closet librarian’s diatribe if she had. I know I actually smiled at the thought because she yelled for me to “wipe that smile off your face, you bitch.” By the time she reached the word “smile” I wasn’t anymore because I realized that I couldn’t breathe.
I was slightly FREAKED OUT.
It was a beautiful scene with a crowd of her cronies gathered around her shielding us from the view of anyone who would help. Luckily though, one of my high school’s finest, stepped in to watch. It took her about 30 seconds of standing there (a long time when you’re suspended by your neck) to say something. Honestly, I think she was a little frightened herself. When she finally spoke, BtCB let go and she laid into both of us.
DUDE…SHE was strangling ME, how did you not SEE that…are you BLIND?
I’m not sure if I went to class and got called in later or if she hauled me into the office by the ear immediately, but I got to have a the pleasure of a chat with the assistant principal, Bouncer Bob.
I guess BtCB must have gotten a more severe talking to than I did, because from that point on, she just yelled at me from across the hall…or maybe it was the picture of my neck the police took when they came to take the report. Ha Ha
Hmmmm.
About a Boy - Francis
This one was all the boy’s fault and only involved threats. David, I think that was his name, showed some interest in me and though he was actually broken up with Francis at the time, she still wasn’t pleased. I think I kissed him, maybe, and then they got back together and he forgot to mention it. (He was a keeper.)
She showed up at my house, with him in the car, to tell me to stay away from him.
Again, I say, DUDE…HE was calling ME!
I told her that wouldn’t be a problem and she got pregnant shortly thereafter. Ha Ha!
About a Boy II: The Thomas (no, not Thompson) Twins, and Nikki
When Jeremy first moved into town and showed up at school in his gold Trans Am with the T-tops off, he definitely turned heads, including mine.
However, a few girls two grades ahead of me decided that they got dibs because…well, because they were older. (Just know that their bangs didn’t hold a candle to mine. Not that I ever held a candle to that fire waiting to happen.) I recall one of the twins taunting me from the hallway while I was in German class. I tried to ignore her, but the teacher heard her and asked her what was going on. I have no idea what she told him, but from that point on she was also pissed at me because I “told the teacher.”
Dude. Whatever.
She also got her sister and Nikki, who had been my “friend” previously when I hung out with her brother, involved somehow, but they weren’t around for long. Because I won the boy. Ha Ha!
3-2-1 Contact: Weirdo Wanda
She really was a little strange, but we were on good terms before Jeremy started cheating on me with her friend, Tabitha, and I (for no apparent reason) got a little perturbed. Naturally I was angry because he was cheating…but even worse, I was completely embarrassed because he was cheating with T, who wasn’t the classiest of gals - and I’m sure I said so…on numerous occasions…very loudly.
Anyway, it was some time after I broke up with him and sent him down the Tabitha Trail, that Wanda tracked me down in the parking lot as my cousin, Chris - whose friend (Justin) I already had my eye on - was walking me to my car, and without warning, jacked me in the jaw when I stopped to see what she wanted. I was completely shocked.
DUDE, why did you DO that?
I have to give her credit though, that one hit cost my parents thousands of dollars in TMJ disorder therapy and corrective braces. Her aim was right on.
So, Wanda? I have no idea what happened to her, but of all of the insane people in my life that year she, at least, had the best chance of turning out normal. Hopefully that worked out for her.
And that’s it. No more fights. No more yelling. Halfway through my freshman year all of the assholes got sent to treatment and I, who was too terrified of becoming addicted to even try anything, was the last woman standing. So, I managed to complete the year with a hot boyfriend and a flesh-colored neck.
Which is good because I’m pretty sure anything else would have sent my mom on a rampage and the world would have been changed forever. She’s feisty, that Pat.
*Names have not been changed because none of these women were innocent. Stories are told as I remember them. As far as I know, I’m being truthful. However if you were present at any of the instances or are a member of my family who hasn’t blocked out this time in my life, please feel free to correct me. (But please do so in a personal email instead of the comments…in other words, don’t blow my cover.)
