The New First Commandment: Thou shalt not take thy children with thee on vacation.
I’m tired - more tired than when we left. This trip has been a lot of work. Aaron and I have spent most of the outings trying to keep Elena from running off the sides of mountains. It is crystal clear to me that the child has been chained to the stroller for her entire life. She has absolutely no concept of holding hands. (I should have known this since every walk to the car at home turns into me chasing her down the street in the wrong direction as she runs and laughs.) So, having not much experience with the concept, and being thrust into it out of our fear for her life, naturally she has retaliated. She has taken to stomping her feet, screaming, going limp, and sitting or laying down every ten steps or so when she believes that there is no apparent reason for me to hold her hand - i.e. when we aren’t going up or down stairs, and sometimes even then.
As to one-up her, I have started holding onto her forearm instead of her hand. (It’s much more difficult to squirm out of my hold without the sneaky wrist motion.) However, it’s not always the best option when you’re trying to make your way to the top of the mountain to catch the gorgeous view. In these cases, I prefer to carry her.
She prefers to be on my shoulders, but this requires that I use both of my hands to keep her steady. I don’t mind when I’m walking on a level surface, but when I’m trying to climb and stay on a narrow path or walking through a slippery cave, I prefer to carry her in my arms - that way I have one free to hang on. So, I lug the sweet little darlin’ up with a smile on my face as she writhes to get away and yells “GOOOO SEEE WATAH-FAWWW” at the top of her lungs. It’s truly the scene of a happy little family on vacation. I’m sure that all of the young, married couples here on their honeymoons are all going home tonight hoping to start a family after seeing Liam walking around with his ears covered because it was too loud and me holding Elena upside down because she got herself into the position and I was tired of fighting her.
All that said, we have had some great experiences:
Friday
The flight was easy. Elena was a little grumpy, but not too bad. The fact that it was only about two hours in air helped, but we sat on the tarmac for quite a while before we left. I was quite pleased with both kids. They were troopers.
We checked into our room with a beautiful view - and cows
and took the ski lift up to the Niederhorn. The kids loved the “ski cart.” I’m not sure where Liam picked up the terminology.
Saturday
Rode the funicular up to Niesen. Liam talked about the train tracks the whole way. We were all trying to see the view and he kept asking questions about the wheels on the track.
It was a beautiful view.
Note how Aaron has one hand on each kid. Elena SO wanted to climb the fence.
The pics do the Alps no justice whatsoever, but here they are.
We made it home in time for a rest and Aaron slept with Liam while Elena whined around for a couple of hours. Grrr. I really wanted a nap. BUT, he went to the grocery store when he got up so I didn’t have to do it. Thanks A!
After dinner, took a walk up a path behind the house to check it out.
The neighbors water their cows from a bathtub. And evidently this is a pretty common use for old tubs. I saw several more after this one.
Of course the view was lovely.
Liam learned how to spread the evil dandelion seeds. (But it’s just so much fun!)
I tried to give Elena a taste of what it would be like to fall down the mountain, but she enjoyed it, so that was a waste.
We took the kids to play at the playground down the street and they had a trampoline. I SO wanted to get on that sucker.
Elena didn’t quite get it.
She was more interested in the cows anyway.
Watched Juno
Sunday
Liam threw up in the car on the way to Stockhorn. It took 30 minutes to clean him up and I stole two rolls of paper towels from the bathroom of a gas station and used a whole roll on him and the car seat.
We drove with the windows down and cow manure smelled heavenly. I’ve never been so pleased to smell a patch of wild onions.
Stockhorn was the most beautiful view.
We ate lunch at the top and I kept fighting Elena to stay in her chair. By the end, Liam was pouring salt on the table, Elena was coloring on it, and I was sick of it. We managed to get into a car with no one in it on the way down, so we had a nice view.
Saw this on our way home.
Aaron counted almost 50 para sailors. How none of them got tangled up I have no clue.
Watched part of Kicking and Screaming after we finally. got. the kids to bed. It took a good hour. It was so annoying.
Monday
I swore off anything that involved mountains and holding Elena’s hand. Instead we went to Tremmelbach Falls. Aaron and I had been there before, but I think there was more water flowing this time. It scared the crap out of Liam because it was so loud. I didn’t get many pics because it was pretty wet.
It was a little treacherous walking through and L and I toppled down the stairs. I was so glad I wasn’t holding Elena.
The day was gorgeous.
On our way down we stopped to check out the river and Liam and I skipped rocks,
and he threw them. He was impressed with his big splashes.
At one point he got a little overzealous and just about fell in. He got a bit wet, but wasn’t really phased. He looked up at Aaron and said, “I think I just fell in the river, Daddy…can I keep this rock?” He’s so funny with the way he says things. It was so matter-of-fact.
It was starting to sprinkle a bit, which worked out well for us since we had plans to go to the train museum. Unfortunately, it wasn’t at all what we expected. It was model trains…not at all like the Transport Museum in London, which has all kinds of stuff the kids can climb on.
There were a few interactive things, but they were mostly broken. I still managed to get the kids excited about them.
This is Aaron’s new favorite thing to make Liam do for pics.
I especially liked this train.
It had a cool driving mechanism.
Unfortunately while we were there, I managed to split AJ’s eye open with my camera. It wasn’t even on purpose - he was taking Elena so I didn’t have to hang on to her any more. He had a nice little Y-shaped split right near his eyebrow. Total spousal abuse case.
But, he went to the grocery store again, for the third time, to get us some food for dinner and the trip out tomorrow.
We tried putting the kids to bed earlier, but Elena kept climbing out of the bed and tracking us down. That child, seriously…she does NOT give up.
Once we got them in bed, we finished Finished Kicking and Screaming, which is a great movie.
Tuesday
Our goal was to leave Beatenberg by 7. We made it out the door by 7.35. Not to bad by my estimation. It’s always stressful to me whenever we have to pack up and leave. I’m always afraid we’re going to leave something. Plus at this place we had to get the dishes done, clean out the recycling, and take the green waste up to the composting area next to the barn. (Get a clue, America.)
I’m always a little grumpy on the day we leave, but I recognized this and tried to let it go. Amazingly enough, We drove to Zurich without incident, although based on our route, I thought nausea might overtake me or the kids.
(Mountains really suck for people with motion sickness…and part of that was a tunnel!)
We made it to the zoo after about 35 minutes in rush hour traffic where Susie kept telling us we would arrive in 5 minutes. It was quite comical. Both Liam and Elena were grumping about being in the car, but they did ok for the most part. I knew it would be a tough drive since we woke them up and put them in the car.
(I take that back - they actually woke us up.)
The zoo was really nice, actually. It had a lot of places for the kids to play. They also has a lot of baby animals: elephants,
gorillas, orangutans, and these little guys
I have to say though, the “gor-rih-rih-ahs” (according to Elena) and orangutans were my favorite. There were teeny little babies with their mamas. They were so cute. One of the teenagers came over to play with the tiny gorilla baby. They rolled around and had a great time. The teen also jumped at the wall and tried to scare everyone. Funny.
I liked this dude too.
“Hey! You. Lady! You give me a banana?” (in Swiss German)
Aside from the primates, this little guy was one of my favorites.
We were in the rain forest, which we all know is the biggest crock of crap. They let two lizards, four birds, and two tortoises run free among the trees and the brush and you’re lucky if you see one of them. Plus it’s so freaking humid in there - and NOT stroller friendly, I might add.
And, I did not know it, but peacocks can fly. I watched this dude take off from a rock and perch in a tree. Not sure how he did it with that long ass tail, but he did.
Finally, just to really capture the moment, here’s
Liam after he had been dragging his feet on the ground and I stepped on them, pulling him off of the stroller as I walked forward.
He totally knows that’s what happens. I even reminded him and he looked up at me and put them back down to drag. That’s what you get, buddy.
And, here’s Elena’s sweaty head.
We decided to go to McD’s for lunch since it’s easy and consistent. Plus it had to be better and cheaper than the food at the zoo. Besides, we were freaking hot. I didn’t bring any short sleeved shirts to wear while we were gone because it was supposed to rain the WHOLE time we were there. Of course, if I’d brought SS shirts, it would have poured on us all week.
McDonald’s was fine. I ate ice cream and felt like I was drunk a few minutes afterward. Damn it was good though. I don’t know if it’s truly the sugar or what. Maybe I was just high from sheer joy.
Or maybe it was this.
What happens if I want the red one at the top?
We spent a good hour at the Swiss lounge in the airport where the kids were on their best behavior. Liam played Nintendo and Elena watched a movie - or kind of watched a movie. She also ran around the chairs near two sleeping women. She was good though; she didn’t wake them up.
I just sat around and ate a bunch of Swiss chocolate. This is kind of my last hurrah. I’m going to start backing off some of the sweet crap I’m eating and see if it makes me feel better - but NOT tuh-DAY, my friends.
The flight home was ok. Elena is not meant to be a “lap” baby, and I’m not used to it, but it’s cheap, so whaddya do?
I’m glad to be back and looking forward to seeing my mom and sis in two day. Yipee!
I’m also scheming about ways that Aaron and I can go to Dubai alone in the spring. I can’t do it with two kids again…I just can’t. It was like a business trip. I did all my usual crap with the kids, but in a different place. Sheet, I’m doing THAT in London, anyway!
Regardless, Switzerland? Is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend including it on your “must-see” list.
