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Heidi Chronicles

Life (In London), Medicated

Contractions and bachelorette parties DO belong together.

Filed under: Aaron, Family, Liam, Pregnancy — Heidi at 11:37 pm on Friday, June 30, 2006

I spent most of the day off of my feet - seriously. I was actually sitting down around 5.45 when the contractions got close. AND, I had already had three quarts of liquid.

They were less than five minutes apart for awhile. I had to have Aaron’s mom come over to get L dinner so that I could stay on the couch. I had just picked up toys and by the time she got here, Liam had dumped books, moved chairs, and arranged cars in various places on the floor. The dogs were looking at me nervously because I rarely lie down on the sofa anymore. Mace was trying to get up and lie down on Elena. They are sweet, but it gets a little annoying after a bit.

Anyway, contractions slowed down and AJ got home from work around 7.45 after warning me that the next six weeks are going to be insane for him at the office. Puuuurfect. Nice. Great timing. Totally not his fault. GAH!

I left at 8 to go to Miss Chelsea’s bachelorette party.

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She gets married on Sunday.

The party was at Jen’s house, and Gabe did a great job as the stripper, cookin’ up somethin’ hot.

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He really does have some nice moves incorporating a turner and tongs.

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The matron-of-honor (Rachel) was in charge of the event, and she’s very Martha Stewart, so she baked some sugar cookies (which her brothers called “cockies”) and instructed us to decorate them.

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There were some very creative entries. I’ve made them a bit more anonymous for blog viewing by removing the artist’s face since Chelsea’s family has a penchant for the Chronicles.  Besides, it’s more fun to guess who made which, right Brad?
Chocolate With Lemon Flavored Condom

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Love Machine and So Cute I Wanted To Knit It A Hat

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Realistic, But With A Feminine Touch

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Spotted Dick and Face With Sunscreen On Eyes

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Happy and Angry

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Blue Balls With Warts and Rainbow Party

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Prince Albert With One Testicle In Mouth

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Yum

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Chocolate and Prince tied for runner-up, but Rainbow Party took the crown.

I awarded myself the prize for the lamest bachelorette party attendee ever. I left around 10 in an attempt to get home and ward off contractions. Of course, they stopped when I got calmed down from all of the festivities at the party. Those penises just got Elena all worked up, I guess.

Bill and Christy were here when I got home, so I put on my jammies and sat and chatted with them for a hefty length of time.

Yeah, we’re THAT close. Not just anyone gets to see me in my Red Dirt Shirt from like 1992.

Let’s just see who comes out of the woodwork when there’s a prize involved.

Filed under: Elena, Pregnancy — Heidi at 7:58 am on Friday, June 30, 2006

We’re going to have a little contest here on the Chronicles.

It’s very simple.  All you have to do is leave a comment on this post noting the date and time that you think Miss Elena will make her appearance.

The closest guess to the actual date and time will win a $30 gift certificate to some store of note, to be determined by the winner and me.

Yeah, it’s only 30 bucks, but STILL it’s 30 BUCKS!  Free!  For you!  Fresh out of the pocket of Heidi Chronicles, which makes no money whatsoever and sucks up all of the free time I have.  (You have to keep in mind that my monthly allowance is only $100 (an amount that I am FINE with), so you’re getting almost a THIRD of what I make in my sweet, sweet job as a SAHM.)

I wish you all the best of luck and if you guess too far past my due date, I might have to hunt you down and pummel you.

The results are in.

Filed under: Pregnancy — Heidi at 10:10 pm on Thursday, June 29, 2006

The test came back negative, which is good.
I didn’t think it would be positive, so I wasn’t surprised.  However, after some discussion about me not being worried about it since it was negative, the nurse told me that

  • it’s not a 100% accurate indicator and that I could still have preterm labor,
  • it’s only good for two weeks after the test was administered, so as of July 9th, it’s all up in the air again,
  • and she assured me that I do, indeed, need to page the dr. on call if I have six or more contractions in an hour.

She also warned me that I should drink more water and take it easy.

Since I’d already figured the latter two out on my own, I told her I’m already drinking in excess of 80 oz. of liquid a day.  (Umm…I sort of neglected to tell her that I baked cakes and decorated them yesterday and had contractions last night.)

Her response to my water intake?  “Are you spreading it out throughout the day?  You can’t just drink it all at once.”

Are you kidding me?  There’s no way in hell I could drink it all at once!  Where does someone who’s NOT pregnant put 80 oz. of water drunk in one sitting?  That’s two-and-a-half quarts - and according to WebMD, it would take “about three quarts of water or more [drunk] all at once to come down with a case of true water intoxication.”

So basically, if I could drink it all at once, which I can’t, I’d be more than two-thirds of the way to being drunk on water.

Quite honestly, if I thought I could do it without yakking all of it up, I might just give it a try and call her back to let her know that it’s not even possible for a pregnant woman to drink that much water in one sitting and recommend that she take it out of her repertoire of responses.

Happy Birthday, Lammer!

Filed under: Liam, Mommyhood — Heidi at 3:05 pm on Thursday, June 29, 2006

You’re officially a pre-schooler now!

Birth story here and 24 month report on its way!

Liam: Two Years!

Filed under: BackBlogging, Liam — Heidi at 2:04 pm on Thursday, June 29, 2006

Dear Liam-

Boy are you two.

SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT:

You’ve become quite the social butterfly lately.

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  • Calling friends by name - I don’t know how many times I’ve heard you say, “Go see ‘Gabe-uh-rill,’” “Go see Jew-ee-ann,” in the past month. You’ve also started asking to see people we don’t see that often. Your memory amazes me. I am going to have to start branching out and making some play dates for you. That’s a scary thing for a mama! It’s a whole new social clique setting. What if those kids’ mamas don’t like me? Eeeek!
  • Becoming attuned to gender differences - Sometime this month, you went from everyone having boy parts to people having either girl or boy parts, though your categorization of which people have what is still lacking a bit. I also told you that you have a penis. Fortunately, you have yet to embarrass me in public - though it will be hilarious when it happens.
  • Separating fairly easily from parents - Um, do we even exist when anyone else is around?
  • Sleeping well in your Big Boy Bed – You’ve only fallen out once - at naptime - and I’ve started reminding you that not only are beds for sleeping, but that you also need to stay in your bed. No problems since. And you’re so sweet when I put you in and you say, “Mama get in, too.”
  • Cooperating at diaper changes - I ask you to choose between two locations and you generally go lie down and wait for me. This is SO much easier than when you tried to run away.
  • Beginning to understand your bodily functions - You’re not so into the peeing, but you definitely let me know when you’re pooping. When you’re going, I ask if you’re working it out ok. You now respond with, “Liam is pooping,” between grunts. Earlier this month, you told me that you were “Working on it over here.”
  • Continuing to test the boundaries - You often do something that you know you’re not supposed to and while you’re doing it, look at me and say, “Leave the dogs alone, Liam,” or “Uh oh, off mimits,” and then you bring it to me. Case in point, when you eat your crayons.
  • Knowing that you have options - You have started to add on to the choices I give you. For example, when you’re eating and I ask you if you want cheese or turkey, you respond, “How bout honey sticks?” It’s rampant during reading as well - “Want to read bout fie-uh tucks, Mama. No Maisy!”
  • Getting cuddly to divert my attention from the fact that you’re possibly misbehaving - I remind you that sofas are for sitting and you walk over to me, put your head on my shoulder and say, “Mama need a hug.” It’s certainly cute, but sofas are STILL for sitting, you little turkey. You’re just like your father!
  • Trying to learn to share - This has been a little more difficult as of late. You and Gabe actually had some drama over a Little Tykes car at Gabe’s house. It’s all smoothed over now, but it’s taken some time. Last I heard Auntie Jen had you both taking turns pushing each other around in it. You may be bigger than G, but he’s not taking any of your crap.

EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT:

Seeing you develop emotions and express them has been the best part of the last month. You know what you want…and if you don’t get it, there’s drama. But you’re also such a soft-spoken, sensitive little guy - so aware of others’ feelings. It makes me melt.

  • Throwing more tantrums - You’ve turned to screaming and whining to get my attention. I am constantly telling you in the calmest voice possible that I don’t understand a whiny voice and that you’ll need to use your words to make a choice. And when I give you a choice that’s not what you want…you commence crying while screaming in a guttural tone, “PURPLE CAR!”
  • Getting lovey - You love to give and get kisses and hugs. You will give them to everyone in the room - even the doctor.
  • Sympathy crying - If one kid starts, you’re on it. Last week Jules got hurt and you started crying. She stopped and said, “It’s ok, Lee-mo,” and came to give you a hug. Eventually you got calmed down.
  • Developing a preference for me over AJ - Don’t get me wrong, you love Daddy, but as he put it, “When Daddy’s there it’s good, but it’s SO much better when Mama’s there.”

INTELLECTUAL DEVELOPMENT:

You have mastered the skills that you should have by two:

  • Understandable half of the time - It’s really more than half the time…I just have to figure out the context, which book you’re quoting, or who you’re mimicking.
  • Make short sentences – You talk in fairly long sentences. The other day I heard and eight-word phrase. (Of course, now I don’t remember what it was, but I remember counting after you said it.)
  • Can name at least six body parts - We definitely have this covered with the addition of “penis” to your vocabulary.

In addition, you’re doing quite well at these:

  • Talking about yourself - It’s a continuous commentary around here of what you’re doing - “Liam is running,” Liam is drinking milk,” and “Liam is playing with cars,” among other things. I always know what you’re up to.
  • Arranging things in categories - For your birthday, we got you a set of bins and you actually enjoy putting all the cars in one bin and all of the blocks in another, etc. It’s made cleaning up a little easier.
  • Understanding abstract concepts like sooner and later - You always say “in a minute” because that’s what I tell you. “Go to groshree stoh in a minute, Mama.”
  • Naming colors - you even know light blue. We’re working on fuscia.
  • Singing the alphabet - You tend to gloss over a few of the letters, but you have the gist of it, and you do know all of your letters.
  • Counting - You count almost to twenty and it goes like this: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 11, and so on.
  • Talking about activities going on in books - You will sit and read for an hour if I have time. I’m so happy that you enjoy it so much. It’s fun for me, too. I pause and you will fill in words I didn’t have any idea you knew. You’ve moved on past the books that have pictures of things and names and now you’re into books with a plotline. We go to the library about once every two weeks or so and pick out new books. Within the first few days, you know your favorites by title.
  • Increasing listening skills - You do such a good job following directions. I can ask you to do three things in a sentence and you can remember all of them - particularly if one of them involves putting on your flip flops. You are also great to take out in public at the moment. You will stand on a line in the parking lot and I don’t have to worry about you running away from me. I always ask if you want to walk beside me or hold my hand. Your usual response is, “Hold Mama’s hand.” It’s like a hot knife through butter, kiddo.

PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT:

Physically, you’re doing quite well. You’re doing all the things that a two-year old should be doing and you’re all over these as well.

  • Jumping - Finally. It took a while since I wasn’t allowed to jump for three months. Once I could show you and we did it together, you got the hang of it right away.
  • Walking up and down the stairs alone - I’ve told you 8 million times to hand on to the railing and the other day you took a little spill while I was in the bathroom. Somehow you had your legs stuck in the spindles and your hands and your head were facing down the stairs. I have NO idea how you managed it, and you weren’t hurt, but it scared the crap out of you. You haven’t been fighting the railing anymore.
  • Brushing your teeth with help - you LOVE to brush your teeth when anyone else is.
  • Balancing on one foot - You’re so proud of yourself when you do it - and you love to show it off for other people.
  • Throwing a ball overhand - It took a while, but you’ve finally gotten the hang of it thanks to the dogs. Macey LOVES when you throw her the ball. Although, at times, I do have to remove it from your mouth, which completely disgusts me. Oh well, the two of you are peas in a pod. And it’s so hilarious when you call her “Macer Racer” and Murphy “Murphy Smurf.”
  • Working on teeth - I always know because you start chewing things you previously didn’t chew - the boxes of mac and cheese at the store, your table and chairs, shoes (or was that Gabe?), the headset for my cell phone, cars, etc. You also chew on your hands while you eat, but I think you learned your lesson after you bit your finger. You immediately cried and managed to tell me in a wavery voice, “Mama, bite fingah. Fingah need kiss.” Dude, it was RED. You bit it hard!
  • While you’re not the best at dressing or undressing yourself, you’ve got the shoe thing DOWN. The flip flops Auntie Heather’s family got you for your birthday have been the BEST THING EVER in your world. You totally put them on by yourself, though not always on the right foot, and we don’t leave home without them. Thank goodness they sent two pair. I don’t know what I’d do if you couldn’t wear a pair inside AND outside.
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JUST A FEW OTHER THINGS YOU’RE DIGGING AT THE MOMENT:

  • Riding on the dump truck between the cab and the dumper, with the dumper up. (Gabe taught you that one.)
  • Dancing to Daddy’s music.
  • Testing surfaces to determine whether or not stickers will stick.
  • Picking the paper off of your crayons instead of coloring with them
  • Taking trucks apart and asking us to fix them. Again. And again.
  • Going on a bike ride with Daddy in your trailer.
  • Hitting the pool for a cool swim.

I’ll be honest, kiddo. The first year wasn’t the best for me, but this year has been fantastic. You’ve made such amazing jumps and have become quite the little man. THe next year brings more excitement and I’m looking forward to all of it. (Well, ok…maybe not the bad stuff, but we’ll get through that too.)

I love you Lammer Jammer,
Mama

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